Mother Russia!

The one we have been waiting for!!! 
After a basically sleepless night I caught my flight to Helsinki! The plane ride over again became another hilarious journey.. For shorter story.. I had a stop over in Prague and on the first plane I had to be the emergency exit person but fell asleep during take off so sorry if we had crashed folks! Landing I panicked when the exit sign lit up so stared at the pamphlet for ages and back at the door to work out what to do. The connecting flight involved me and some lovely guys from Israel making jokes on the plane to pass the time and cure our hangovers! And finally I arrived in Helsinki! What a strange place! It was never dark!! Or if it was it was a deep blue sky not black! It was still light at 11:30pm! Everyone helps you as much as they can they even go to such great lengths as to draw you a map!! Unbelievably nice! So I meet my contiki group.. Blah blah blah! And we set off for Russia!! I gotta say that I can't describe Russia that well! It's something you've really got to see for yourself! Getting into russia.. We were greeted by a four foot stunning lady with a look on her face that could kill! Once passed security we were in Russia.. Some part of Russia??? A long long drive later we were in St Petersburg!!! St petersburg was... Better than beautiful, awesome or amazing, stunning or any of these adjectives! I spent most of days walking around exploring the place on my own. Yeah. Russia isn't that scary. The people are nice when you talk to them and I noticed no one seemed to do the double take look at me (I felt pretty unattractive there) the women all dressed up in Hugh heels short skirts and were very slim. Lovely ladies! After having bad luck trying to find a sex museum to see rusputins penis but having a great experience with the locals trying to communicate what I wanted to see and having one woman even say to me "what!!? Where the hell do you come from and what have they told you!!?" in the end I never saw it. Lame! But i became captured with the stories of Peter the great and Catherine that were told by our guide. Then onto the next town we went.. Some dodgy mosquito infested place! You got the feeling you were getting closer to entering the belly of the beast. The next day however many hours it was later we arrived in Moscow! Moscow was like st petersburg's mean big brother. It actually gave me the chills to be alone there half the time.. The people seemed to look at you in a different way. One night a fellow traveller abs j decided to explore the night life and after having the sirens on us by the police cause we stopped in front of the KGB (big no no) we were helped by some locals to this bar/club that was terrible.. But great. They insisted on buying us drinks and after watching everything being poured we tried to give them money they refused and said they were offended by the offer. It's how it is over there. The night ended by us saying goodbye to our fellow friends and getting into a unofficial taxi who was an Italian man who couldn't speak Russian or English.. So there I am trying to direct this man in bad Italian in Russia?? How that worked I dunno. 

Back to Spain!!!!

Granada Sevilla!!!!! 
After abruptly meeting v as she burst through a 10 bedroom dorm waking the sleeping hungover people we set off to find lunch/breakfast. We spent 2 days traveling from Barcelona to Madrid to catch a bus to Granada! The hysterical bus ride took 5 to 6 hours which involved us mining great 80s hits that were available to listen to on the bus in the backseats. Backseat bandits! When we arrived in Granada it was after midnight so we stumbled tiredly around the town up the mountain with backpacks on cursing the place Only to be welcomed by street music from hippies! When we finally found our hostel we were greeted by a tall lanky stunning barefooted man and a British shaggy looking character whom we spent the remainder of the night drinking and hanging out with. They informed us of their point system for their guest which basically went.. 1. You start on 10 points.. You gain points for helping them for example cooking then dinner, helping them clean, not waking them up before 9. You loose points by saying amazing which v lost 5 points in 5 minutes for doing. Generally pissing them off. We were long lost friends in Bo time! And it was the Perfect way to spend the night. Over the next couple of days there was a heat wave so we went about making picnics and exploring the town and all it's beauty. One of the days we took a bus to the beach and watched gorgeous curvy women swim topless and run along the beach.. So after a whole bottle of wine we swam around in our nickers! And it was well worth it! We bought drinks at a local bar.. My gin and tonic was as big as my head... V had to take us back after that. We never did get to see the nightlife cause we were either too heat stroked or stomach sick, but having said that staying in and hanging with the lovely hostel folk was far more entertaining. When we left they sad but i am sure we left on 20+ points. Sevilla was next. Stunning place with a quirky atmosphere. Everyone seemed to speak with the th and b instead of v sounds so cervesa turned into therbetha! Overlly gay lisp sounds! When it was v's birthday we ditched the flamingo night and ate and drank at a bar... My spanish isn't that perfect so instead of ordering 2 slices of pizzas I ordered 2 pizzas! They turned into our drunken treats later in the night! Sevilla was as stunning and beautiful as everyone says it is.. I adored it so much. After v left for primavera festival in Barcelona I explored the town alone and in the next couple of days joined back up with her, james, Jenna and will. 

Gobble gobble

Vanessa's travel guide to turkey
1: how to get a Turkish stalker
Whilst pondering around the airport trying to work out how to get to my cheap cheap hostel I was confronted by one of the airport staff. After a long conversation of getting to know you random chit chat he insisted on me meeting up with him. Tried and not quick to think I got his number incase I meet some cool people in the hostel to be my posse if I decided to go.. But alas when I got his number he to me to call it.. This the stalking begins. I never met up with this guy and ignored every call that was a foreign number and the calls continued even after my friend picked up and claimed the phone to be his. 

2: staying in an dodgy place
It took the taxi driver forever to work out where the hostel was and fair enough, the hostel was hidden under a giant building with no signage! So after hiking 3 sets of practically vertical stairs I was settled into my room. There was only one other person in my room and he was from Croatia and didn't speak English that well.. But from what I understood was that he was married to a woman who loved shopping, he only eats fruit and vegetable and drinks only water and he only uses soap to wash his hands and washes his body with water! He was nice but a little odd and he looked scary so I held my valuables all night while I tried to sleep!

3: how to become the coupled tourists
The next day I moved hostels and joined an awesome hostel which had 3 or 4 cats! The owners were very friendly and would encourage conversation so in no time I was off exploring with a guy from Portland in America. We explored the Markets and got a little lost here and there.. But managed to find our way back all the time. Whilst exploring we overheard this tourist couple arguing and bickering to each other about the other ones directions! so we pretended we were a married couple called Gerald and darlene and hilariously navigated our way through the crazy markets! The day was packed full of chai teas, green tea with apple, Turkish delights, chaotic crowds and too many cheap items being thrown in your face! Ah Gerald "quit playing with your rocks!!"

4: how to loose your purse
Let's be honest when it says 3 lira tequila shots you should just say no.. Or have one.. Not 4 and vodka!! Long story short I left it behind and all is well now at the time my new "husband" friend was stressing and I could be no more calmer.. It's not my passport nor is it my life! 

5: going on a dodgy tour
I arrive at my hotel for my tour and it's just older people.. Me and the tour guide are the only people under 25 so.. The tour begins and I swear Australian Gerald and darlene if they were single they were on this tour! One man kept leaving his passport everywhere and wasn't very travel savvy. Three lovely ladies however made my trip more enjoyable inviting me to dinner and to join them in events. The tour itself was shocking.. The tour guide ended up hooking up with one of the brazillians on the tour and moved to the back of the bus to make out with him during the tour.. But I became tour guide after that. 

6: what have we learnt
Just take a friend to turkey stay in hostels get lost in the city find your way back and say you have no phone!! Turkey is beautiful and the people stop of 5 minutes and different hours of the day whilst music plays and they pray.
Oh and I saw a turkey in turkey!! 

The lovely tale of zia Anna!

Isn't it funny trying to communicate with a language barrier.. Everything turns into a charades game! Trying to communicate with relatives from veneto has proven itself a hilarious challenge... I have 2 relatives who can speak bit of English but we struggle to understand each other at times. For example they asked me what a trolly is called in English but as they were asking the dog kept licking my feet! This lead to them trying to explain what caress was in italian and them saying "caress it!" but I thought they were telling me to caress the trolly! "Not trolly! Cane! Cane! (dog) Haha!" it's even more difficult cause they speak a dialect as well! Zucchini isn't zucchini.. It's sucoi! But we all understand in the end... Except eggplant! "purple! Purple vegetable!" "purple vegetable!!?? Crazy!" and as for mangiare (eating) time..well it's a funny little joke now but believe me.. There is no stopping! "Vanessa, mangia!"... "no ho pui fame!! Basta!" is the funny new line to say when around me or zia Anna! They also have this habit of calling me "venezia" which means Venice! So when surrounded by multiple zias I get confused between my name and the place as it sounds similar "Venezia vanezia" and one of those words could be my name!? But zia and I had a very nice time watching the royal wedding and calling Camilla a "bruta cavallo" which is an ugly horse! Ah zia. What a crack up! 

Easter!!

Buena Pasqua! Happy Easter.. Let the feaster begin! After preparing myself mentally and physically for this massive day of eating for a week, the day finally arrived! but to tell you the truth I must have over prepared! After the 4 courses I could still keep going! Apparently it was simpler and smaller than all the other years.. So when my aunty and I got home to make rice salad for the next day; the mountain climbing day, we ended up eating most of the ingredients! When the next day arrived I was dressed (spastically because of limited clothing) and ready for the big walk up this mountain! But alas! I was saved by my aunties boss' son who invited me to a picnic with all the "youngins" back home to change and off to the picnic/barbaque I went! hurrah! Luckily most of these kids spoke English as well as italian. So after a little too much wine we all became old chums and they taught me various things about Italian slang and culture. For example the drink chinoto means blowjob to them.. And if your glass is empty it must be refilled with an alcoholic beverage stat to avoid offense.. When I returned home to my aunty I fell asleep on the couch to her enjoyment and then proceeded to eat most of the chips in the house! Drunk Vanessa! 

It's Italy

Italy! Early arrival to celebrate Easter with my aunty and her family who live outside milan in a village/place called angera. Lovely lovely views of beautiful green country and lake! My Italian has improved slightly and I can say "basta! No ho pui fame!" translation "enough! I'm not hungry" believe me they still don't understand this and insist on you eating more! I was told I was too skinny and needed to put on 5 kilos! I negotiated 3 kilos.. But yeah right! My stomach will explode pretty soon! The food is great! Bit oily, but great! I will be visiting my dads side up in Vicenza which is apart of Veneto. Now, from memory, when I was 8 we went there and all I remember is cheek pinching and lots of eating! Lots of eating! Did i mention eating?! And I've just been informed I will be staying with the main perpetrator of this custom! Great! here come those 5 kilos! Today i decided to escape and eat simple..But after resting by the lago maggiore too long all the shops were closed! Yes. Its not a myth.. Supermarcato.. Closed! Everyone here is a little too intimate with their loved one. I think I'm the only single person sitting alone on this lake. Ha! Where is feminism when you need it! So far here I've climbed up a million stairs in the castle and got a free coffee for it! Climbed inside a statue of a saint all the way to his head to look out his eyes, mouth, nose and ears at the view! Climbed down a different set of a million steps to see where the monks built their church.. And got a sample of a Turkish toilet! Went across the lake to arona by ferry! And watched Many a couples embrace under European sun.. Italy= not a place for the single! 

Madrid!!!

Madrid! What a city.. Dee lost her wallet at the train station so we had to go to the police station which turned into quite the situation. Dee, in a panic, was talking so fast that you couldn't understand her even if the police understood English. Whist waiting for dee we decided it was drink on time so tried to ask the officer if he could tell her we would be in the pub.. This didn't translate too well as he thought he were asking if they wanted to come drink with us. Soon after jonesy used his google translator to tell the officer what we meant and we set off to the bar.. But this bar was a strip bar! Giggling we went back to the police officers and using charades we explained jonesy was keen but Emma and weren't so were was a normal bar without nude women! The next couple of days was filled with great company from hostel folk! Lara, a lovely girl from Germany, located a salsa/samba bar where we were given free drinks pretty much all night! Or 
if we did buy a drink it wad 2 euro! After starting off a robot swaying side from side I ended up.. In my mind.. Thinking u had the hang of it! Ah when in Madrid! After tasting chiros and locating a vegetarian restaurant my Madrid trip had come sadly to an end.. So off to the airport! Ah before you judge me. I'm stupid and have never done this on my own.. So in panic and follow some other guy with a giant backpack I went through the security check not realising you gotta check your luggage in first and not one! Not one, single worker, traveller, anyone at all told me this so they let me go through.. And only after I asked information where was my flight and where do I check this massive bag over 10kilos in did they correct me! A walk through two fricken terminals later I checked my bag in and went to my flight! I laugh now but "hablo engless?" can only get you so far! But safe and sound some lady said something in Italian on the plane.. Giggle and smile! Ah!